Gift Scrap Blog

Scenario…
The scar that breaks the perfect curve of his eyebrow reminds you of Dylan McKay on your favorite show back in the day, Beverly Hills 90210. Rather than taking you on long rides on his motorcycle, he likes to delve into his past boxing stories and how he lost that tooth in the back of his grill that you didn’t notice the first few dates.

At night, he invites you over to his apartment only to leave you on the sofa to watch reruns of “The Family Guy” while he goes off to workout with his buddies at the gym. Just a one time fluke, right? He doesn’t really mean to leave you all alone in his dark, dirty, smelly, sketchy basement apartment so he can buff up with some mates?

The once “I’ll be right back, 30-minute workout” soon becomes the daily “two-hour gym escapade.” You soon realize that you are dating Conan O’Brian more than your own boyfriend.

Conversations circle around the best new muscle book on the shelves and how many protein drinks he had that day. You know more about his little black book of workout routines better than anything else. Is this normal?

Possible Outcomes…
#1 You sit in his apartment. He may be gone for a couple hours at night, but he’s working on his body for you, right? What’s a few hours versus one hot bod? (Desirability: MODERATE; Reality: HIGH)

#2 You offer to go with him to the gym. He says “no,” this is HIS time to be with his friends and he doesn’t want any distractions…ie YOU. (Desirability: LOW; Reality: HIGH)

#3 You offer to go with him to the gym. He says “yes” emphatically and your body becomes hotter than it has ever been before. He realizes the amazing woman he has and walks along with you proudly. (Desirability: HIGH; Reality: MODERATE)

#4 You dump him. You use your new found time to go to a gym near your clean apartment and start to date a hot trainer, who has nights off. You run into your gym-obsessed ex months later, with your new killer bod and hot man by your side and you ask, “ooh, have you been slacking at the gym? You are losing your tone.” (Desirability: HIGH; Reality: MODERATE)

#5 You confront him. It’s either the bench press or you. He chooses to drop all 125 lbs of you. (Desirability: LOW; Reality: HIGH)

The Lesson…
“Don’t be a treadmill and let him walk all over YOU!”

I talk amongst my girlfriends everyday, discussing the scenarios that go along with any relationship. In our group of friends, we first started off with manners and compassion, trying to say the right thing and be as supportive as possible. Our faces full of sympathy and our ears open to any situation; we were there for each other. However, in the back our minds, we always knew that our friends were going to do what they wanted to do no matter what.

After years of dating ups and downs, such as animalistic passion turning into brotherly love, the “it’s not you, it’s me,” and everything in between, we have changed our tame tune to a more “in your face” approach. Instead of playing the “I’m here for you, no matter what you decide” card, we have decided to play a different hand and just lay it all on the line. Now, this doesn’t mean that we don’t care about our friends’ romantic woes; we are just shooting straight to the point. So, for all of you out there who feel that you are better off if you “learn from your own mistakes,” get over yourselves. Take this opportunity to learn from some of ours.

From time to time on the “I Give a Scrap” blog, I will give dating/relationship scenarios and possible outcomes.  Think of it as a mixture of  VH1′s “Tough Love” mixed with a dash of “Million Dollar Matchmaker” meets “Dear Abby.”

All these situations will be rated with a “Desirability” and “Reality” score.  “Desirability” meaning what you want to happen and “Reality” being what really is going to come of it.

Feel free to suggest scenarios or topics of discussion.

Happy reading love birds!