Gift Scrap Blog

We all know it’s hard to stop having feelings for your ex once a relationship is over.  Enough groveling and feeling sad for yourself . It’s time to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart!

Here’s how:

1. Unfriend them on facebook. Unfollow them on Twitter. Unlink them on LinkedIn.
I know you won’t be able to see their status updates on your newsfeeds, the new pictures they post or are tagged in, who they are now friends with, etc.  Stop stalking and start clicking: REMOVE THIS PERSON AS A FRIEND.

2. Go out with your friends.
I don’t care if you are not in the mood or you don’t feel like yourself. You have to go out and have some fun. It’s OK if you talk about your ex for a few minutes but if it starts to take up the entire conversation all night long – stop talking. This is a time to let loose and relax with good people.

3. Put away all their things.
Now notice, I didn’t say throw their things out. I have a theory about this. As long as their things are out of sight, it’s fine. You will know you have progressed immensely when you take a glance at an old photo album of you two, or look at a necklace he gave you one Christmas and not care at all about it.

4. Don’t try to get your stuff back.
Just think of it as a sunk cost.

5. Push them off that pedestal.
Don’t idolize them and build them up into something great. They’re not. So even if they call you/email /BBM/IM/text –  whatever form of digital communication they choose – don’t go out of your way for them. No longer do they deserve preferential treatment.

6. Don’t look for a new love right away.
It may seem like a good idea to jump onto eharmony or match.com, have someone fix you up, or go out with your friends and try to pick up a new person. But I really feel like when you are not looking for love, it happens. People know when you are on the hunt. They can feel your intensity and insecurity and run the other way. This is only going to lower your self esteem if you keep getting rejected or not find someone right away.

7. Remember the bad times.
If you start to feel nostalgic, then think of all the times he was an a$$ and she was a bitch to you. That should do it. Remember when he forgot your birthday? Or that time when she made you go to the mall all day with her and you missed your Alma Mater play in that Bowl game?

8. Stay busy.
Get a hobby: try cooking, learning a new language, or even better – start seducing somebody they were always jealous of.  Oops, if that gets back to them

Thoughts? Think I am crazy or on the right track?

I talk amongst my girlfriends everyday, discussing the scenarios that go along with any relationship. In our group of friends, we first started off with manners and compassion, trying to say the right thing and be as supportive as possible. Our faces full of sympathy and our ears open to any situation; we were there for each other. However, in the back our minds, we always knew that our friends were going to do what they wanted to do no matter what.

After years of dating ups and downs, such as animalistic passion turning into brotherly love, the “it’s not you, it’s me,” and everything in between, we have changed our tame tune to a more “in your face” approach. Instead of playing the “I’m here for you, no matter what you decide” card, we have decided to play a different hand and just lay it all on the line. Now, this doesn’t mean that we don’t care about our friends’ romantic woes; we are just shooting straight to the point. So, for all of you out there who feel that you are better off if you “learn from your own mistakes,” get over yourselves. Take this opportunity to learn from some of ours.

From time to time on the “I Give a Scrap” blog, I will give dating/relationship scenarios and possible outcomes.  Think of it as a mixture of  VH1′s “Tough Love” mixed with a dash of “Million Dollar Matchmaker” meets “Dear Abby.”

All these situations will be rated with a “Desirability” and “Reality” score.  “Desirability” meaning what you want to happen and “Reality” being what really is going to come of it.

Feel free to suggest scenarios or topics of discussion.

Happy reading love birds!